Laparoscopy

13 Jul

I finally went for the laparoscopy today. Because I waited almost two months for a surgical theater it went less well than we hoped, but my gallblabber came out and I’m sitting in my own bed. Past the very first gallbladder attack, there was no screaming involved, so all in all, having gall stones was a much improved experience over having kidney stones.

I am however in intense pain. It is only through the miracle of hydrocodone (vicodin) that I am able to type this at all. Plus, they pumped some air in my body so the cameras would be able to see what was going on inside me, and there’s a pretty large air bubble in my shoulder right now that if I lay back down I will weep. So anyone who wants to read a blog entry written by someone who had one of his organs pulled out through his belly button, gets to benefit from the terror I feel when thinking of that much pain.

I have several punctures and cuts on my body, and my ribs are killing me. If I didn’t know any better I’d have guessed that laparoscopy was a fancy word for “cut up his belly and beat his stuffing out by kicking him in the ribs repeatedly until his gallbladder shows, at which time we can cut it off shove the rest back in and cover him in glue.” I can just imagine big black cute doctor standing over me with nazi boots on, saying, “C’mon gallbladder!” (Her name is like 1 syllable. It is staggeringly easy to remember. I just can’t seem to do it for whatever reason.)

This is what actually happened. Ooh, there’s a cool picture of the organ they took out of me.

After the surgery I ate a bite of a graham cracker and a sip of ginger ale, and promptly puked them. This was less fun than one might imagine. As big black cute doctor explained to my wife, by the time they were able to get at my gallbladder it was a mess, inflamed, scarred, chock full of pure petrified agony, etc. So when they went in to get it, it was big and nasty looking. My ribs probably hurt from the laparoscope running along the inside of the rib cage to get around the monstrous mess that was my gallbladder. Plus, they had to do one of my holes twice, expand another (take a scalpel to make it… looks like a 3 cm long cut), and my belly button is new and strange to me.

So now I’m home, covered in glue and scabs. I have tomato soup, bread, ginger tea, and of course hydrocodone. I expect the next few days to be rough, bit I’m OK.

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One Response to “Laparoscopy”

  1. Misterecho 16 July 2010 at 4:11 am #

    Get well soon.

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